Birthing Is NOT Nice
Closed Cultures the Last Desperate Act of the Patriarchy
Exploring & Reflecting on Modern Times: by Catherine Whelan Costen
By and large Canadians aren’t really as nice as media or branding would like us to be. ‘Nice’ generally implies pleasant and agreeable, which in my world often translates to ‘doormat’. There is nothing virtuous about being agreeable. There isn’t even anything really wonderful about being tolerant.
Canadians were not nice when we stood up to end the use, stockpiling, production of Anti-Personnel Mines known as the Ottawa Treaty, nor when we rejected the ‘ballistic missile defence’ project, we weren’t nice when we fought in wars against fascism and dictatorships around the world. We aren’t tolerant about racism, or oppression of people for any reason. Our military is not ‘nice’ when they serve Peace Keeping missions around the world; they are firmly assertive, sometimes quite aggressive but never nice. All this ‘branding’ and propaganda makes for great media, but has little to do with reality. The Patriarchy is falling and we are witnessing the dying days of desperate people using whatever they can to cling to the old.
Let me tell you a few things that make this Canadian very disagreeable, intolerant and most passionately angry!
Mendacity is the first and perhaps the foundation, of all the other things that cause me to feel anger. Untruthfulness, or mendacity, lying, deception for the purpose of misleading people causes my blood to boil! Oh I’m not talking about the little lie when someone asks if they look ‘fat’ in their jeans. A lie to avoid hurting someone’s feelings is a display of compassion and Canadians do have a great deal of compassion.
I’m talking about deception, lies of omission and lies that create illusions, lies that defame and attack peoples’ reputations; those kinds of lies. Democracy relies on participation of the people through elections, however when the people are not provided with facts in order to make an informed choice, or when voices are oppressed, threatened via intimidation, we cannot truly have democracy. If offered the choice between an apple or an orange, but unaware that there was also a buffet of other juicy fruits, crisp vegetables, prime cuts of meat and all sorts of dairy for you to choose from, that would not be an informed choice.
If you were offered the apple or orange and not told the condition of the fruit, or not told it actually came wrapped in raw liver, which you would also have to consume, that wouldn’t be an informed choice.
Today Canadians are being told that the climate is in peril and we must take action. We are also being told by others, there is no problem, nothing to do just shut up, consume and produce. Whether humans are the cause or not, we know that we need to take action to reduce the harm we are doing, prevent what we can and adapt to what we cannot. Denial is not an option.
From what I have observed, we are primarily being distracted by hype, fear, hate and a lot of conflict to keep us in fear. There are those who seek to rule over people and the planet. A form of enslavement to satisfy a few; but why they are doing is is not clear. Pure sadistic pleasure perhaps? Regardless, it’s happening and the Patriarchy has been the tool for implementing it for eons.
Society as a whole is at the point of evolution, much like a young adult almost ready to leave home, or perhaps having just left home. We’re discovering that some of the ‘parental’ ideology we accepted for years, just doesn’t work anymore. There can be anger on both sides of that situation. Parents who believe their way is the only way, while the youth are ready to explore something different is often a source of conflict. This is what our current global and Canadian government situation feels like to me.
Our recent federal election we were being told that one party had candidates recruited for their pro-life, anti-choice ideology often wrapped in a religious zealotry, but that they would not act on those beliefs. They would not try to make laws that limit a woman’s right to determine her own reproduction, they would not oppose current LGBTQ rights, but at the same time they had recruited candidates who do wish to do so. That is deception. Since we know that after an election we have very little say in how these individuals behave. We need to be fully informed prior to making our X on the ballot.
Sadly our media has spent a great deal of time talking about rumours, personalities and not talking about the threats to our democracy. We were not told that trade deals signed by the previous government tied the hands of future governments regarding the pipeline, which is so controversial for many concerned about the planet. We are not told that many green innovations have been in the works in Canada but are being stifled by oil friendly politicians. Like the teenager who was told there was only one career choice, one university to attend, or one person to marry and the parents had made all those decisions on the child’s behalf, when they were born; people are angry when facts are denied and pressure to accept another person’s choice is forced on us.
Every aspect of our lives has been turned into a ‘reality t.v.’ show for ratings, profits come before all else. Monetizing voyeurism of daily human functions has become our entertainment. A human zoo or carnival, perhaps?
Nothing more obvious than the circus show we were treated to through this recent election. The leader of one political party, with the potential to be our next Prime Minister who has lied to us repeatedly, was portrayed as an ‘average man’. Deceiving the public every which way, boldly without remorse, yet some Canadians do not find that offensive, or suspect ulterior motives for those deceptions. While others are able to see through this illusion.
I think this rogue group of extreme right-wing religious/political, have been quite clever in their planning this ‘invasion’ to continue the patriarchal dominance of the country. They created a brand that seems to be all about ‘family’ and conservative values, they recruited people with a common zealotry and made it seem like everything outside the club was bad, everything inside was good. Invoking ‘God Bless’ this or that as often as possible, which only leads me to wonder what kind of ‘God’ they are invoking? Regardless of what happens inside that club, dirty tricks or secret plans, the members will stand up for the group. Every time someone within the group does something that is obviously corrupt or deceiving, they find a way to twist it around and blame it on someone outside the group; someone who is easy to hate, because the foundation of hate was built many years ago.
This is a similar technique as telling a young person they cannot marry someone outside of their faith or culture; the other faiths are wrong, bad and unacceptable, and further the young person could be abandoned by the family if they do choose to go against the ‘family’. Fear of being abandoned by the tribe is very real and often that’s enough to keep people in line.
Manufacturing hate against a group of people, or even one person if they represent a group of people, has been used throughout history to manipulate the masses. We saw it in Germany with the Nazi’s blaming the Jewish people for the economy. We saw it in the USA with the smear campaigns against immigrants, especially Mexican workers. We are seeing it again in Canada with the rise of ‘white supremacists’. We see it within families, political parties, cultural societies that vilify anyone outside the group, while glorifying those who stay within.
Our media in both print and video seems to speak with one voice, very little investigation or facts are reported and a great deal of opinion.
The fear and hate feeds policies such as, more guns to protect ourselves from these ‘imaginary’ threats, less money for hospitals and Universal Healthcare, but more for corporations to profit. We are hearing anti-immigration rhetoric even though we know that Canada needs more immigration to keep our country growing and thriving.
Politicians so often plant seeds of chaos, threaten division or separation in Canada. Many can see that our Confederation was formed in large part, in order to protect an entire nation from being taken over by the American capitalist ideology. There have been forces set on dividing her since the early days. A weakened nation is easier to exploit.
So who does it serve to create chaotic societies? It is easier to rally people when there is chaos. People cannot think while under constant stress.
Quebec is one example, from my observation of a people who were hyped to form a closed society, to protect their culture, and reject the rest of Canada.The result has been to oppress its people. We heard the rhetoric in Quebec, while the people of Quebec have been so opposed to the English language for so many years, now they’ve reduced opportunities for their own people. Bi-lingual is an added skill, unilingual means less. Reduced tourism, because many know that they won’t be able to communicate in English. The tourism industry is constantly working to combat the perception but I cannot help but believe that many simply stay away from a place they feel unwelcoming.
The people have less, not more opportunities for career when they have only one language. Today most of the schools teach only in French. That most certainly will limit the next generations options to leave the province. Multicultural embraces the reality that many voices, many points of view enhance our nation. Closed cultures cannot grow. Exclusive clubs regurgitate ideas and indoctrinate, they do not educate. I am not suggesting the choice to have a closed culture is right or wrong, it simply is important to realize the restraints it creates.
Alberta has created a closed culture as well, even though it is not based on language, it is just as closed in many ways. The 40 years of Conservative party governance, has filtered into all aspects of life. There are no outside voices to challenge the ideology within the party mindset. Democracy is but an illusion, although we go through the motions during election periods, voices that are in opposition or contrary to the majority do not get exposure. Closed cultures kill expansion and growth. Nothing new can be born in a closed culture.
If you doubt the control mechanisms of closed cultures, I encourage you to considered leaving one. You don’t have to actually leave it, just considered doing so and you’ll likely notice a lot of feelings that you may have never felt before. Consider leaving your church, your political party, your business club, your social standing (wealth or poverty) or even social group and facing the world without that safety net. You might be surprised.
Poverty keeps people in survival mode; there is no opportunity to be creative from the place of survival thinking.
People consumed by fear, will often rally to fight an enemy real or imagined, to try to stop the fear. Poverty has also been promoted as righteous, whereas wealth is evil. This mindset works for those who know better and can manipulate others to embrace their poverty and shun the wealthy. If poverty was truly the key to a reward in the afterlife, why do so many in positions of power hoard wealth? Why do so many people with wealth deny it, in order to be seen as ‘average’, or to fit in? Why do so many have a sense of poverty when by all comparisons they are quite wealthy? That fear of not having enough is ingrained in many families; no matter how much they have it is never enough. This leads to the need to control all resources, to deny other people resources~ from that place of fear, lack and poverty consciousness.
Furthermore, a better question to ask is why do the masses give up their own power and offer it to those they perceive as smarter, or more entitled, to dominate the rest? If we really believed wealth is evil, why would we take instructions from those who have it and hoard it?
Religion Has Been both Beneficial and Horrific for humans.
Throughout history we have examples of rulers, king or queens, using religion to wage wars, that had very little to do with Divinity, or God. The organized religions had found ways to convince the masses that they were weak, sinners, unworthy and that through the various religious hierarchy, rules were available for them to follow which could bring them absolution or some ‘points’ with the ‘Godhead’.
This is not a critique on whether or not there is a God, or whether religion is a good thing or not. It is however one of the tools that has been used to oppress masses of people to feed the greed of the few. I can see that there was a time in our evolution where formal religion was actually very helpful to guide people in civilized behaviours. These sets of rules often worked in harmony with the planet, with food availability, weather patterns and helped to create social systems that enhanced the lives of many. Fasting can be beneficial to the human body and likely fit very well to extend lifespans. Cycles of celebrations and feasts, and rituals all came through various forms of religious beliefs or customs and cultures, that were based on planetary changes, the seasons and so forth, creating community and social systems.
A rule about not killing each other, or stealing from each other obviously needed to be made in our primary learning to survive on the planet. I’m talking very primary here. Reflection on behaviour, repentance, making amends etc., are all parts of our legal system today. A conscience or method of making decisions based on something beyond reaction could only come once we were out of basic survival mode, because within that mindset there is no rational thought. Do what you must to survive, is part of our inherent make up, that lower brain or animal instinct.
Evolution has brought us to the capacity to think, to plan, to reflect on the past, present and imagine the future. Animals do not have that kind of thinking. They would not be capable even if they had a religious practice. Humans have the capacity whether they have a religious practice or not.
Unfortunately what may have begun with good intentions, was easily abused by those who saw that people were vulnerable to exploitation through religious doctrine. It is interesting to consider that many religious teachings will advise that if the individual follows instructions that are ‘wrong’ or against the Will of God, the individual will not be held accountable; the ‘sin’ is on the instructor. What a clever way to give up individual power!
As we saw in many parts of the world with Colonialism and its dependence on Christianity to conquer the aboriginal peoples around the world, segments of the inner groups claimed a superiority over people who did not know this Christian God. This worked very well to facilitate taking over resources and controlling regions, while at the same time oppressing or enslaving the people.
Fascinating to notice that the aboriginal groups had their own knowledge of Spirit and clear customs which connected them to the cycles of the earth and cosmos, but did not have the air of superiority that the ‘Christian God believers’ had. They had knowledge of a different kind. Oppressing different points of view has been another tool for those who seek to hold power over the people and resources of the planet.
What I see happening today is that the masses have woken up. The old tools to oppress, the air of superiority, the hoarding of wealth and glorification of poverty for after-life gains, along with suffering in this life to buy a better after-life, is no longer a carrot to motivate. People want inspiration not deterrents, or motivation by fear of punishment.
There is an old saying, ‘the truth will set you free, but first it’ll piss you off’ often this quote is attributed to Gloria Steinem, however it has been said by many.
State Enforced Religion is NOT Democracy
Government today is still attempting to use the religious tools of oppression, through various political parties. Using the language of oppression, patriarchal beliefs that ‘men know best’ or that they, by virtue of their gender are superior to women. Caucasian men even more so, especially in the West are given more status, even though there is absolutely no evidence to suggest any superiority in either gender, or ethnicity.
The anger, resentment and outrage is found on both sides of this situation. Adults who have educated themselves beyond the indoctrination of society and religion, are no longer willing to hand over their power to a group of people to dictate rules to live by. Those who still want that power over others, are just as angry that the adults they seek to oppress and manipulate, are saying, ‘NO MORE’. This is where we are in conflict. Much like the parent and young adult breaking away from the dominance of family structure, the conflict is real.
Blind trust no longer serves. Until we demand that our governments are not dictatorships, that what we need is leadership, not authoritarians or superiors, we will struggle as a society. Truly interactive democracy would ensure informed consent, information that is factual and relevant to decisions we make as a culture.
Our system is outdated and many politicians today fail to see that they cannot lie to us, nor manipulate us into believing they are superior to us. They serve at the pleasure of the people, not the other way around. It is not a matter of simply changing the electoral system, although that does require changes. It is a matter of the people demanding facts, many voices, visions for how to accomplish collective goals, respect for the planet and each other. The more people are leaving home and taking back their power, the more oppressive and restrictive these regimes try to be, to hold on to power that they know they are losing.
In the 1950’s many people were merrily accepting that any politician, doctor or church leader had the ‘moral authority’ to dictate life choices for the masses. These roles were still predominantly held by males. That fit with the patriarchal concepts of male dominance over society. Any woman who dared to pursue a career in any field outside of childcare, or domestic duties was facing a wall of objections. She often had to become more masculine than her male counterparts, more aggressive, more educated and still would not have the same ‘value’ as men. (In many ways, 2019 is still revealing the inequality between the genders, in wages and positions of power.) This did not enhance society, it oppressed both men and women. Even within her own home, where many would claim this as her domain, women often did not have the resources to take care of the home. She was at the mercy of the generosity of her husband or father, if he was miserly she had few options. This is no different than governments today that are hell bent on the business side of government, while neglecting the ‘home’ or social programs, ensuring or denying basic needs are met for all of society according to the whims of the male dominating mindset of ‘good sugar daddy or harsh daddy’.
Patriarchal Good Daddy or Harsh Daddy has consequences, neither make good governance.
Drawing on a situation from my own life; I knew a family years ago that offers the perfect example of patriarchy that does not work. The father was very miserly, they were not poor, but they had eight or nine children to feed and support. He worked the two oldest pre-teen boys very hard. In the winter time he had them chopping wood and loading it on the truck, hauling it from the bush back to their home. They worked long hours in the cold, but he wouldn’t buy them proper winter clothing. Finally the mother put her foot down and declared the boys would not be working for him until they had proper clothing. It wasn’t that they couldn’t afford the clothing, it was simply that he wouldn’t invest in something he decided was unnecessary. Today we call that abuse, but is it so different than governments that won’t put laws into place for fair wages because it’ll cut into profits for employers? Or denying funds for education or healthcare?
Governance cannot rely on the generosity or miserliness of individuals. It cannot be run as a business. A family cannot decide to pay the mortgage on a home before they feed, clothe and educate their children. We cannot allow those who can’t meet basic needs themselves to simply do without. No more than we would allow a baby to die because they can’t get up and cook their own food. Civil society requires systems to enhance all members of society to thrive, to the best of their abilities, regardless of whether they are profitable or not.
Balancing Energies to Create
Everything on this planet requires both masculine and feminine energy. When we attempt to use only one energy, we are denying creation its full expression. Evolution doesn’t happen overnight, we know this, however we are no longer children requiring a patriarchal system to dictate to us. There are those who truly believe we do. There are many who believe they must control others and have power over them in order to feel safe on planet earth. Of course this is a futile effort. We cannot have power over others, never. People give up their power willingly, whether they realize it or not. All we have to do is take it back.
There is a strong movement across the globe right now that is called, extreme right wing Christianity, which from all I have observed is the exact opposite to Christ’s teachings. This is how far we’ve come from truth. Jesus of Nazareth, the Christ has a very simple message, ‘love one another as I have loved you’ . There was nothing in his message about oppressing others, no shame, blame or superiority over others. It was acceptance, not tolerance. Compassion, empathy, forgiveness and respect, when people did not share his views he walked away. He didn’t suggest his way was to be enforced by governments or religious. He didn’t say wealth was wrong, but he did say that greed and hoarding or preventing others from thriving was. It’s as if they’ve taken all his teachings, turned them upside down and kept all the laws religion created in His name. I am speaking about Christianity because I am most familiar with it, although other religions have oppressive aspects as well. 
We do not thrive well under oppressive regimes. Leadership today cannot be authoritarian, for we are no longer children. Leaders who can inspire, inform, converse intelligently and respectfully with the people they serve, is our best chance of sharing the wealth of the planet without warring to do so. There are NO Holy Wars. God has no directive to kill each other for the good of a religion, nor for holding different views. God has given no group of people superiority over others; the name of the game on earth is not to get the most toys before we die, but to have the most fun exploring with each other in our physical form.
We’ve collectively bought the illusions of fighting for everything, that something is only worthwhile if we have to fight for it or that competing with everyone is the only way to live. So this angry Canadian has stopped being nice. The nice is simply allowing the bullies to run over the rest of us. The nice is not feeding our children, nor creating safe communities. Nice is not holy, nor compassionate, nor particularly intelligent. Nice is quite frankly, lazy.
We could do so much better being kind, than nice. We could do so much better by telling the bullies their fear is not feeding our souls, that greed is destroying our planet and we prefer to thrive.
Being firmly kind and saying NO to oppression of anyone, will release the dominating masculine from this burden of dictating. It is something that they really do not do for anyone’s benefit but their own small egos. It is their own fear that is driving this Patriarchal machine now. It served it’s purpose. It is not about moral authority, for they have none. They may believe they have all the answers, but just look at our planet~clearly they are flailing and we are too! A fearful bully is more dangerous and destructive to themselves and society when we give them our power. It is not necessary.
We are witnessing the shifts of energy. Patriarchy is all we’ve known, it’s the root behind war, oppression, harsh rules and poverty. We need the feminine to lead now; this is not simply replacing Patriarchy with Matriarchy, rather it is feminine energy within both genders leading towards a more fair and equitable society. Feminine energy does not attempt to dominate, nor dictate, nor oppress. It encourages, it visualizes, it feeds the hungry, nurtures the wounded, it lifts up the depressed. It creates home. We’ve denied resources to the feminine and our world is crumbling under the weight of the patriarchal dominating forces. Very little is maintained in times of war, we’ve been at war for eons and our world, society and humanity has been neglected. It is time for balance.
Nothing new can be created while we busy ourselves in survival mode, fighting an endless war over ideas, religion~ thinking there is not enough or that there is only one right way to live.
We do not need a ‘daddy government’, we need people to lead, people we can consult, to make wise decisions on how to live on this planet in harmony. We don’t need religious doctrine through government, it has proven to serve the few, just as monarchs benefitted from the labour of the serfs, or dictators do today. We live in communities, we simply need to learn how to communicate with each other in non-violent ways, knowing there is enough for all if we use the resources wisely.
As Mahatma Gandhi said so well; “The world has enough for everyone’s needs, but not everyone’s greed,”
Creation requires all voices, all music, all art, science, technology, all of it dancing together in the unchoreographed symphony of life!
We know we can share resources on this planet, not all of us want the same things, but continuing to allow a few people to dictate how we can live under their thumb has lost its allure. We (most of us) are civilized and simply need to implement cooperative, collaborative systems for the benefit of all.
Predatory capitalism has been unleashed and allowed to have its way with us, far too long. Canadians have had enough of ‘ daddy knows best’ or ‘don’t worry your pretty little head’ about things. When we know better we do better, as Maya Angelou used to say. Canadians know better know. We know better, now!
I am not suggesting communism, sharing our good is not communism. We do not teach our children to practice communism, we teach them to be fair, to be kind, to have compassion for others. Surely we adults can expand on those concepts that we learned so young! What I’m talking about in fact, is a new system that has never been implemented and requires all of us to create; that is evolution. Perhaps it doesn’t need a name, or perhaps it’s simply called Human Exploration? Whatever we call it, it is very likely it will not be called, ‘Nice’~ birthing is seldom nice!
This is Birthing!
We do need to address our economy, our environment, our infrastructure and maintain human rights, civil society and protect minority rights from being run over by the majority. If we are led by fear and propaganda, we’ll be manipulated into giving up freedom under the guise of security and money. That was the purpose of our Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms, which still requires constant protection today.
But the real clincher for me is, Canada is a leader for peace, we signed on to the World Court; the US along with China, India, Iraq, Libya, Yemen, Qatar and Israel did not. Canada led the world to ban landmines, Ottawa Treaty was not signed by USA, China or Russia. Canada has very different values. Much is discussed about Canadian values, but what do we really mean? Our collective values are not religious values, they are human values. We do not tolerate other cultures, we embrace them. We do not tolerate hate speech, racism, bullies, misogyny, homophobic attitudes and oppression; we stand up to them. We need a PM that stands for Canada, alone.
Here’s to a fair election, no split loyalties and with very democratic outcomes, for an even better Canada tomorrow!
Catherine Clarity Whisperer Blog 